I got to trial a version of Working Through Feelings over the weekend, on Saturday morning. I have wasted the last hour this morning trying to upload a video I edited last night of the performance. Fucks sake! I just tried deleting loads of stuff off my phone (after finally managing to get Airdrop to work again) to make enough space to save the video off of Imovie so I can upload it to Youtube. But Ive fucked it up by deleting the original movie files so now I will have to upload them again before I can save the video.. kerrrist.

I used the studio of a fitness instructor, Laura, here in Ennis. I used to train out of Laura’s studio when I was lifting kettlebells competitively and my week was somewhat dominated by my training schedule. I asked her if I could use the space so was able to get in there on Saturday morning.

I had brought my whiteboard, and a tripod and my phone for filming etc. I I wanted to try performing the piece to an imaginary audience, which in this case was my phone screen :)

What worked:

I was able to successfully perform the actions and talk. I realised quickly that this was not going to be a problem, after all I did this for a long time as a fitness instructor. I can talk away and exercise, albeit with some breathlessness. What was important was to see if I could keep up a flow. Could I do the movement, talk away and simultaneously be thinking of the next Feeling to write down. More or less yes. I will need to try it out again a couple of times I think in some form or other before the weekend. Failure to prepare = prepare to fail!!!

What didn’t work:

The whiteboard is a bit annoying and a bit small. It is not very dramatic. I would prefer to write the words on a wall with chalk ideally. They would provide a good backdrop to work in front of and the increasing illegible writing would nicely illustrate the breakdown of ability and energy and reason as the performance progresses. I also found it predictably squirmable and unpleasant to see myself on camera, with my middle class dublin voice. But that is neither here nor there, it’s to be viewed as a job to be done. And what I see is not what others see anyway. Also the whole atmosphere came across as a bit contained and pleasant. For it to work it needs to be more manic, hysterical and grating. How long I can sustain a manic hysteria is basically key here.

Also, in regard to what all this means, I cant be worrying about this now. It’s simply a piece of art. OK I give up, I am at present unable to get it off imoves to upload to youtube. I will try again later before I throw the laptop across the room.

OK I finally, finally got it uploaded, downloaded, uploaded etc

WTF to camera trial 1