I have ideas for new performances. This always makes me feel better as I have a purpose. Also, I ALWAYS have ideas for performances but I made myself think about what I can make on a practical level, without too much money or asking of others time to make it happen.
This is an attempt to perform what I feel a lot of the time. A torrent of words that can only be heard in a constant sped up stream. That dont mean a lot. Or might. Bu tyou cant understand them so they become something else. What do words mean anyway? Besides you can understand a lot of what is being said here just by just watching. Im bored with easily negotiable work for the moment, I think it’s from doing so much drawing and mounting the drawings- which are observations from life but are quite one dimensional. I am not interested in filters or looking nice. It has to be honest right now. Well I do have eyebrow pencil on in the video :)
There is no bad. I am in a very privileged situation where I have sufficient means to even MAKE this stuff, albiet meaning my income situation could be a lot better. I have never suffered abuse or neglect. My kids are safe and well looked after and happy. I’m in a long term relationship which I hugely value. I personally have no fucking problems on a relative scale. I have to remind myself of this.
Its ok to make ugly stuff. Not everything is beautiful and filtered. I have plenty of ugly thoughts. Its ok to make work that could be described as self indulgent. But then you could say that everything an artist does is self indulgent. When you think of ideas to make work and drawing from your own observations and experiences then of course its self indulgent. Its your world view not someone else’s. Even if the work is about others or for others its still YOUR work, coloured by your world view.