I am back in St Josephs Hospital drawing some of the patients. You are not supposed to refer to the occupants as residents as St Josephs is a hospital, not a nursing home. I started before Christmas, in December. Getting the correct vetting alone took months. Vetting is right and proper and necessary but I do with they would update the system as to how its administered here in Ireland. Getting the funding to do the work took even longer- it could have been a journey titled ‘Do not give up when you get lots of no’s’. However I was eventually fortunate enough to secure sufficient funding to start the project, through the good people at the Clare Age Friendly Programme based at The Rural & Development Department of Clare County Council. Regarding access and vetting I had decided to just allow the elements over which I had no control to do their thing. It would happen when and if it was supposed to.

Below are the preliminary sketches of 3 of the patients I have worked with so far. The preliminary sketches are very informative- they often contain more of the life-force of the person than the finished drawing, even though the finished drawing is technically usually a lot better. It might be the posture or the outline, or something in these initial rough sketches. I am talking to them while making these as we will have just met, and I am randomly and loosely sketching outlines, and not worrying too much re the outcome. I think this looseness comes through and the permission I’ve given myself to just draw means that a certain something comes out. Not always but sometimes.

St Josephs is my first destination of 4. Next venue is Clare Castle Day Care Centre. My vetting got delayed for this venue and I have now finally scheduled a meeting to plan visits next week. These two spaces are very handy for me geographically, and have allowed me to continue with other work simultaneously as I can drive to these venues in approx 10 minutes. In a way it was good to get off the ground with St Josephs. I have two more venues to hopefully access-

Raheen Woods East Clare -run by HSE similar to St Josephs and Clare Care Ennistymon – Day Service.

So, for now the goal is to complete 6-8 portraits in St Josephs and do the same in Clare castle all going well.

St Josephs has been an evocative experience. When you enter the sliding doors of reception its as if the outside world immediately recedes and you are in this slower paced, routine centred, and very much cloistered retreat. Its an interesting place, all long shiny corridors with more corridors running off the main ones, from which echoes of conversations and laughter can be heard, clinking of trolleys and cutlery, dinner smells and so on. The staff all seem to have been there for many years, which of course is a very promising indicator of a workplace. They chat to the patients and exchange stories and opinions, while tea is being served or a wheelchair pushed.

For the time being I have been working out of a newly sequestered space called the sitting room, which is a new space for patients to sit in or to entertain visitors in as far as I can make out. Its quiet, nicely furnished, with two big windows and a fireplace and extremely warm. And for me, who suffers from bad circulation and goes through winter entombed in many layers of cardigans and and scarves, then you can be assured its properly hot. This is actually quite nice except it makes my portrait sitters sleepy.

So far out of the 5 people I have worked with they have all been very receptive and congenial and chatty and obliging. Its not an easy thing to be scrutinised and looked at- I am aware of this so I try and put them at ease. One individual was a little troubled and unhappy and less sure of how long they had been there for and how long they would be staying. I sensed worry and a sense of trepidation from them, and conversation was stilted. I am conscious of course too of my alien like status in their eyes- this bald, skinny middle aged woman sat there looking at them.

Getting the portrait made is challenging enough. I have to get them to keep still long enough to get a general starting sketch made, and then to ask them to let me take photographs of them roughly in the same position so asI can finish the drawing at home. Often they will move or as said, fall asleep. Then I have to decide to either start again or to adapt what Ive done so far to the new pose. It’s a gamble.

The goal is to eventually have a body of work comprising of 20-25 portraits with accompanying audio pieces comprising of edited conversations between me and the portrait subject. I purchased the recording equipment before Christmas and to my shame have not opened yet. I have been procrastinating as they has been s many other things to do and Ive simply put it off as I am likely unfairly assuming it will be technically challenging. This means of course that I will have to go back and access the people who have sat for me again and interview them. However on the plus side, having sat with 5 people already, this experience has made me realise I need a list of questions to ask. These will be a way to initiate conversation at the very least with the less forthcoming subjects. SO that’s a priority to get done- learn how to use the recording equipment and write out the questions.

In terms of the portraits I have completed 3- see below.

As I look at them I see many things to correct and I need to step back and remind myself as to the nature of what they are- drawings. Not photographs. They are not supposed to be perfect and indeed perfection is not what this whole endeavour is about. I have deliberately not finished them to the same detail- there are pencil lines leading to nowhere and rough shading beside more careful mark making.

When I visited to day I was told of the 5 people I have met with one has been sent to hospital and another is sick in an isolation space. That is the nature of the work- although slow paced changes happen very fast too.