Now I am not going to write a shpeel detailing my every move every day, but seeming as I am a bit behind with my documentation and what I’ve been up to I am catching up here plus making a recording of my actions each day I spend in glór- as I need to send this on to Tara and also I know from past experience that this is a useful endeavour. Having had to write a blog for 3 years documenting my work and thought process for my masters, I got used to writing and also came to realise the value in it. I would find that I would sit down and write a load of stuff, close the laptop and go about my business. I would then return to the blog a few days later or longer, and reread it with the benefit of an objective viewpoint. Rather like some Turner Prize nominated artist whose name I forget who recommeded writing and drawing in notebooks, burying them for a year and then digging them up and reading them again. Also my memory is atrocious so documenting my practice is useful for this reason too.
I was thinking about why my confidence in myself with this live art craic is very low. In past jobs I was very sure of my place- in my fitness career I knew what I was good at, I knew what I was worth, I knew where I fitted into the industry. I suppose it makes sense that I don’t have the experience yet to allow myself to obtain some perspective on this situation. I have some expreience in making, in terms of the work I’ve made already, which was the protagonist in that makign it has made me want to make more. But also the prefectionist in me that panicking that it, the work, wont be good enough, that I wont be good enough. I realise at the same time that this stage, this early starting stage, is a precious time and should be savoured as oposed to rushed through. I wont have this lack of experience again, and this lack of experience allows an approach to making and a way of doing things that likely wont be accessible when I have been at this longer, if that makes sense. My approach, already setting expectiations for work I havn’t made yet, is a bit like worrying if a night out will be good before it has even happened. A waste of time.
Today I began with a warm up of another bodyweight training movement I learned from an MMA coach years ago. Its called a lateral knee drop and is great for hip mobility. I was interested in the way it mirrors itself and wanted to explore how this movement would work as a repetitive gesture. I added a knee stance at the top of the movement and an arm raise to extend the gesture.
I could have kept going with this all day. It made me think about why something like this gestural warm up is so easy for me to do as opposed to this piece below that I made a year ago, ha ha
